I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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