...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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