I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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