bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
