Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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