I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry