No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me