And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
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I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
