wanna go halves on a baby?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.