"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
