There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
