I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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