i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
