2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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