Im at strip club and am horny
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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