We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
