and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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