Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sarcasm needs its own font
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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