Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
