So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
