U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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