He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
