put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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