I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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