Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
