Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The adults are the big ones right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize