this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
either way he was missing a nipple.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
