Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize