Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
