I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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