yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
