Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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