I don't remember. Are we still dating?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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