Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
