are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
