Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
