I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
