Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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