Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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