you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
