im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
