We won't sleep together?
I think I am morally bankrupt
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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