He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just had sex on a roof
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
