You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
