I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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