Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I want a musical about memes.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
