She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
