who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
