I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
