just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
