Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
