I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
