mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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