Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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