I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
