That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
