Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
