do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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