I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
