Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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