I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
